ATXMTG Vintage League #2, Round 1 - The Marrone Report

A board dedicated to Austin's up and coming Vintage league play. Includes overview, standings, results, and other relevant information.

ATXMTG Vintage League #2, Round 1 - The Marrone Report

Postby EmersonESQ » Mon Sep 07, 2015 2:40 pm

This was not your average Vintage match. This was a myth, a legend. While this season of ATX Vintage League will trod on, like an antelope limping away from a fatal attack, this match will soar in the minds and hearts of those lucky enough to witness it… and now, you, the lucky readers.

Given that this was to be the first Feature Match of the season, Matthew Ophelia Hargis and I decided to add a little spice. We’d decided to dust off the Drunk Vintage from last season’s match between Loren and I. As such, the match was not to begin until both of us were substantially intoxicated, and we were to continue to drink until the match concluded. Additionally, each sideboarding session was also to be met with “sideboard shots,” to further the confusion, and test the skill level, for both players.

During shuffling, Matt accidentally glimpsed a Ponder at the bottom of my deck. All things being fair, he balanced the scales by revealing to me that his deck did not contain one of his own. This minor decision for him would prove to be a major decision point for me later in the evening.

The decks broke down as follows:

Me - Vinfection Perfection

Hargis - Survival Arrival

For those of you who lack your ATX Vintage scene history, my (now omnipresent) deck was originally brewed up by Matt and I on the night before Eternal Struggle #8. As would be fitting for this match, it was brewed up while we drunkenly gorged ourself on pancakes at Kerbey Lane. Matt was facing down a deck that he had some blood in. The sentimentality of the moment was not lost on him.

I lost the roll, Matt elected to go first. The match had started.

Game 1 -

The effects of the bourbon were already being felt as we lazily drew our opening hands. I kept an opening seven that was a Blasphemous Act away from perfection, but had enough digging to make up for it. On the other side of the board, Matt elected to mull to six. This blink-and-you’ll-miss-it game began with a land and a Basking Rootwalla on his side of the board. The bourbon coursing though my veins meant one thing when I saw that smiling little lizard staring at me: I. Was. Baffled. What year was it? What decks play this thing? I haven’t seen a Madness deck in a long time. What even goes in a Madness deck? Is that card legal in Modern? Who the fuck plays Modern? I haven’t seen a Rootwalla since I listened to Blink-182. Ugh, I need a sandwich. Is Blink-182 still touring? These were the thoughts swirling through my head. I forced them out as soon as Matt said “pass.”

“Inkmoth Nexus, pass,” was the entirety of my turn one.

Matt played another land and swung in for one, electing to pump his Rootwalla to bring me down to sixteen.

I’d planned to play an Island and play a dig spell to try and find myself the Blasphemous Act I needed for the combo. Thankfully, I didn’t need to. A Blasphemous Act came straight off the top of my deck, and the rout was on. I stalled before my attack to debate the level of the counter-magic package in Matt’s deck. When I remembered that he was not running Ponder, and he’d played no blue lands yet, I figured the coast was probably clear. Swing with the Inkmoth, Blazing Shoal pitching Blasphemous Act. Turn-two win for Marrone.

Up one game, it was time for the first round of Penalty Shots. Followed by a ten minute break to let the shots “kick in.” Hargis spent the break sideboarding, and trying to figure out how to beat the deck he helped bring into this world on that fateful night. I went another direction. Having only seen a Basking Rootwalla, and still pondering the touring status of Blink-182, I figured that there was nothing for me to side in or out so, I spent the break smoking cigarettes and probably yelling.

Game 2 -


Game two began with me needing to mulligan to six. I made an early misplay of Brainstorming to find a Mental Mistep that I already had in my hand. Some other stuff happened, and I will let Matt fill you in with his write up on that end. The long and short of the match being, Matt’s board had an Izzett Staticaster and two Rootwallas. Matt was clocking me for a substantial chunk of life each turn, with his Staticaster keeping my Inkmoth Nexus safely in land form and keeping my Blighted Agents off the board. Eventually I was staring down a dead-on-board situation and needed to draw a miracle out of it. I needed to find a Stifle and a Blasphemous Act, or a Time Walk to simply give me a longer clock to make the find. The major issue I was facing was, I had sent three Blasphemous Acts to the bottom of my deck during the most unlucky Dig Through Time I could have had. So, everything I was looking for was effectively a singleton. Dig led to Recall, Recall led to Preordain, Preordain led to Gush, Gush led to nothing. Time to scoop. Score one for Ophelia.

Sideboard Shots. My drunken mind still had no idea what I was facing. “Two Rootwallas and an Izzet Staticaster,” that doesn’t ring any bells in my mind. Boarding in two Pithing Needles would be my best bet before heading outside for another cigarette.


Game 3 -

Electing to go first, I believe I kept my opening seven. I don’t know. I believe Matt kept his. I don’t know. We’ve entered the truly dark times. My recollection is really getting hazy now. On my second turn, I misplayed. I fetched up a Mountain instead of dropping my Inkmoth. However, this misplay was as perfect as one could be. Because I didn’t have Inkmoth as a threat on board, the thought of flyers was out of Matt’s head when he finally played a Survival of the Fittest on turn two. “Ohhhh, yeah, yeah, that makes sense,” was all that rang through my head upon hearing it announced. As for Blink-182’s touring status, I still had no idea. He combo’d off quickly and swung in for sixteen damage off of two Vengevines and probably a couple Rootwallas. Long story short? I’m in serious trouble.

When he passed the turn, I was dead on board unless I came up with something this turn. My boardstate was simply an Island and a Mountain, not much help. I knew I had my Inkmoth, and the rest of my combo, in hand, but I had no way of giving it haste. It seemed that my misplay would be the death of me. However, when Matt went off with his Survival, he’d elected to not grab his Birds of Paradise, and, thus, he had elected to leave his flying defense completely down. My only out, my only out, was to topdeck my Time Walk. I did not have enough blue mana to dig for one and cast it. It was Time Walk, or bust, off the top of my deck. I sat there before my draw, and I made an audible prayer to Topdeck Jesus. Prayers are answered only for those pure of heart. On that fateful night, Topdeck Jesus found my heart to be pure. I played my Inkmoth, played my Time Walk, untapped and swung in. Blazing Shoal pitching Blasphemous Act, the mantra of victory. With the match won, lots of celebrating took place. Matt seemed pretty proud of the little deck he’d help bring into this world. A glorious end between two rivals.

The rest of the night was a blackout. I guess I took a Lyft home. Before that there was drinking and laughing. The legend had already been written. There was no need to keep writing.


Dictated but not read. Facts not checked for accuracy.
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